Just a few thoughts before I head out to the work-hole. Only two more nights to go and then I'm off for two days. Damn, I'm ready for those days off.
James came by twice today. He's persistant - I'll give him that. He gave me an addy to write to his brother - and then asked for a hug. OK, I can do that - he's a sexy beast. During the hug, he pulled me close, copped a feel and kissed me on the neck.
Damn!
This is getting harder and harder to resist... in more ways than one.
A few hours later, he came back. He wanted to know my plans for tomorrow - he wants me to come over and "watch movies" in the AM. Uh...... OK? Sounds innocent enough, right? From a guy who keeps grabbing my.... this should be interesting.
I still haven't decided whether or not to go over there. Actually, I really have, but I don't want to sound too easy or slutty so I have to appear to be hesitant. Hell, I've held out for over a week and he's been persistent - and he is so freakin' sexy. It's just a fling, right?
Moving on...
I'm listening to Shooter Jennings right now. The boy has a unique and distinct sound - his daddy would be very proud of him. He's a true "Outlaw" in every sense of the word in that he doesn't fit a specific genre - he's like his Daddy was. His Dad's music wasn't rock, country, rock-a-billy, or anything you could label. It was just "Waylon".
And Shooter's music is similiar in that it's not easy to label - it's just "Shooter".
I've been checking on the updates from Survivor Series and so far, all my predictions are dead on in regards to winners and losers. I did kind of mess up on the S. Series elimination match - I predicted Jeff Hardy as the sole survivor, but it ended up being Jeff & HHH as the winners. But other than that, I'm still at 100%. Now, Taker has to win and Orton has to retain - and the freak match has to be a no-contest and I'll be 100% for the night.
Will it happen? Maybe! After all, I know my rasslin' if nothing else!
I just saw a news item - Ric Flair is being advertised for a RAW taping in Charlotte, NC on 11/26. So does that mean Ric is coming back to RAW or is it an old advertising that was made before Ric was taken off TV? I guess we'll find out on the 26th.
I guess I'll end this - keep it short tonight. I want to write to Danny before I head out to work so I can mail it off in the AM.
So I'm down and I'm gone.
Ubuntu!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: November 18, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
November 18, 2007
Doug Maynard
It's Doug and I'm back again. No, my writers are not on strike - it just seems that way. It's time for another exciting (?) edition of professional wrestling's most eclectic column, the one and only 'Tossing Salt". Are you ready?
No, I said "Are You Ready?"
So for the millions out there on the internet and hundreds of loyal "Saltines", let's get ready to "READ IT!"
Yeah, that's original!
By the way, if this column seems more awkward than usual, it's because I wrote part of it on Friday, part on Saturday and finished up today. And it's kind of random at points. Except for the Survivor Series stuff. Just read and enjoy. And remember that the views and opinions expressed in my columns are just my jaded outlook at things and not necessarily politically correct. I just calls it like I see it. 'Nuff said!
Let's do this!
Random...
Ron Paul - 2008: Of all the guys and beasties running for President right now, he's actually the best man for the job. Which means that, of course, he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in Hillary's presence. It'll be Rudy versus Hillary in the big election in November, 2008. My money is on the one from New York.
Pizza is good any time of day, hot or cold. But it makes me burp.
Work - it sucks! But I just got another raise! Yay! I want to quit, but I'm good at it and they keep giving me more money to stay. It's a vicious cycle.
Britney Spears - someone needs to commit that chick - for her own good!
Paris Hilton - someone needs to commit that chick - for our benefit. She's a hooch & gives slunts a bad name!
It seems as if my mail lady is running later and later every day. It must be the holiday season - or else she's changed her route around a bit. Whatever the reason, she needs to get her butt in gear. I want my mail!
Unless it's bills - and then she can keep 'em. Or I'll just pull the old Fred Sanford routine - aka "put 'em back in the mailbox!".
ACW had a show last night in Rockingham, NC. I had to work at the Kangaroo! So it was no ACW for me!
Hey Bill Bill - I hope you kicked some ass! And the team of B.D. Productions was back! And better than ever! Or were they? I need to call them boys!
Cold weather has begun to finally set in here in the 'Burg. It feels pretty good, but I've had to break out the jackets already. I don't like jackets - they're too bulky and confining. But it's either that or freeze! And I don't like freezing. It makes me look like a big, blue extra-large Smurf...
... without the pointy head or single digit IQ. They're cute, but not very smart. Except for Brainy. But he was just an ass...
I don't mind yawning - we all do it - but last night, while taking me to work, the mother-figure did that exaggerated, loud yawn six different times. For a three mile ride. And it shouldn't bother me - but for some reason, it just irked the hell out of me. I didn't say anything, but I wanted to. She probably can't help it - it's just the way she yawns, but six times - in less than five minutes - it just grates my nerves.
I bought a box of Count Chocula cereal at the store this morning. I haven't eaten that stuff since I was a small child. And I didn't much like it then. But the "Count Chocula" character was pretty cool. So I ate it then anyhow. And I bought the box today. Because it was on sale. Some things just never change.
Speaking of vamps, I just found out yesterday that Johnny Depp is a big Dark Shadows fan.... and he has entered an agreement with Warner Brothers about the possible production of a big budget "Dark Shadows" movie. That would be pretty incredible.. . And Depp is just eclectic and weird enough to make a great Barnabas.
And if I can be so bold to make a recommendation, how about David Boreanaz (sp) - "Angel" from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel" series - as Quentin Collins. I think he'd make a great manipulative man-beast type of guy.
Or the guy who played Will in "Will & Grace" - Eric McCormick - there is something about him that makes me think he could really do well in a dramatic role as an evil, twisted member of the "Collins" family.
A big shout out to the man I love who turned "27" a few days ago back on the 16th. I love ya, Chris & miss ya. Happy (belated) Birthday to a super-cool dude with a super cool 'tude! Yeah, I'm going there! Love ya!
Happy (belated) Birthday to my favorite set of redneck twins (two hell raisers for the price of one), Carl & Carson, who turned 41 back on November 12th. Ya'll were crazy - ya'll are crazy! Don't never change! And where's my beer?
'Rasslin...
Did Christian really call Sharmell a "nappy headed ho"? LMAO! Booker T(NA) versus Christian Cage - I know we've seen it before in WWE, but I think this is going to be a good (and fun) feud.
TNA is still as confusing as ever for me - and there is still way too much Total Non-Stop Angle, but some of the recent stuff has been awesome. Christian - his "Coalition" of AJ & Tomko - the defection to Team Angle (can they use that term?), the debuts of Booker T & Sharmell, and the return of Kevin Nash to the ring - and Scott Hall ("Hey Yo!") to the spotlight - TNA hasn't hit a home run yet, but they're getting there.
And Disco Inferno a few weeks ago too? Yay!
Disco Inferno > Don West - so replace West with Disco. I'd rather see Disco at Wrestlemania in Orlando, but I'll take my sightings when I can get 'em!
If WWE produced a version of "Hee Haw", would it be called "WWE Haw" or "HHHee HHHaw"?? Just wondering.
I should do a WWE Hee Haw parody. I'll put it on "the list". Maybe one day before Aurora Rose Levesque becomes CEO of WWE. Heh! Heh!
I miss Ric! WWE needs to be fair to Flair! Bring him back to TV - NOW! They say that WWE Creative has nothing for the "Nature Boy". Well, that's the storyline. Ric can cut promos shooting on WWE for not having "anything for a 16-time World Champion" and then take challenges from the WWE superstars. It's the Rodney Mack "white boy challenge", but it's Ric Flair and he's not quite as racist and way too old to be called a "boy". But let Ric win by hook, crook, and any means necessary over different jobbers and mid-carders and the storyline is that he's out to "prove himself" and get back into contention for the WWE or World title. He can say the champs (Taker/ Batista & Orton /HBK: pending the results from Sunday night) are "ducking him" and after he keeps winning, he can end up doing a program with CM Punk for the ECW title. It'd put Ric on TV, create a storyline, give Punk the education of a lifetime, give ECW some great exposure, increase the ratings, and certainly be better than some of the stuff on TV right now.
Except for Santino Marella. As a wrestler, he sucks, but as a comedy act / sniveling heel - he is magic. He's the next William Regal (except for the wrestling part!) It must be the accent! But he's awesome!
And Maria? She's pretty awesome too! She's no Ivory, but then again, who is?
May the force be with you.
Yeah, I'm down with the trilogy.
Joanie Laurer recently went to court and legally changed her name to Chyna. Wow! Wouldn't this have been a bigger piece of news like five years ago? After all this time, the name has little, if any marketability left and Chyna comes across as just a looney-toon desperate for attention. But then again, with her history since being dumped by HHH and fired from the WWF (Surreal Life, Surreal Life Games, Sean Waltman, Howard Stern, the movie with Anna Nicole, rehab, that movie, etc), can we really expect anything less from Miss Laurer besides craziness.
Also, when announcing that her name was once again (legally) Chyna, Miss Laurer also took the opportunity to bash Vince McMahon and challenge him to a fight. She's on her way, eventually to a permanent residence in a padded cell and rubber room. Yeah, I just said it. That gal ain't wrapped too tight and it seems that every time she seems to be becoming a relatively "normal" member of society, she flips out again. She's a nut!
But then again, look how well the whole "crazy" images work for Phil Spector and Britney? Hmmm!
This years Survivor Series is the tenth Anniversary of the infamous "Montreal Screwjob" involving Bret, Vince and HBK. Originally, Survivor Series was supposed to be coming from Montreal, but the WWE chickened out and changed the show from Montreal to instead. Wimps! So, even though it would be much better to let this dead horse die and rest in peace, you have to know that the main event, involving HBK, will be full of subtle (and some probably not so subtle) Montreal Screwjob references. Look for HBK to use the sharpshooter at least once - and for Vince, at some point, to tell the people to "ring the damn bell" as he tries to "screw HBK".
But I had a thought. And it's far fetched. It's even downright crazy (as crazy as Chyna & Britney?)... How about this for a scenario? HBK and Orton have a fantastic match. Towards the end, you see HBK start to go for a super-kick, but catch himself in time and instead, lock Orton in the sharpshooter. Orton struggles, but he's trapped. He's going to have to tap. HBK looks as if he's ready to once again become the WWE Champion.
And the fans are ready for some shenanigans. They're expecting Vince to come to ringside and "screw" HBK. Well, someone makes an appearance, but it's not Vince McMahon. As HBK drags Randy to the middle of the ring, from out of nowhere comes Bret "The Hitman" Hart. He comes to ringside and starts to come into the ring, but HBK sees him coming and breaks the hold as he goes to prevent "The Hitman" from getting involved in his match. HBK screams at Bret at ringside. Bret just smirks as the distracted HBK turns around and walks right into a RKO by the recovering Randy Orton. Bret gives Randy the thumbs up and smirks as he walks away. Randy pins HBK to win the match and retain the WWE Championship.
There you have it. Bret "screws" HBK out of the WWE Championship, thus getting revenge and paying a debt that's ten years due. Orton retains the title and can move on to his next challenger (Y2J). And Bret & Shawn never have to make contact and Bret doesn't have to risk his health or get into the ring (or even say a word). And the fans go crazy!
I know. It's not going to happen. Yeah, yeah! But a man can dream, right? And besides, isn't this the WWE where "anything can happen"? We never expected to see Eric Bischoff as the GM of RAW and make out with Linda & Stephanie, but it happened. We never expected to see Sable come back to the WWE after suing Vince for "sexual harassment", but it happened. We never expected to see Goldberg in the WWE or see Christian, Kurt Angle or Booker T leave WWE and it all happened. The WWE has a big history of "expect the unexpected" and for the 10th Anniversary of the "Screwjob", wouldn't this be a great way to finally put baby to bed? Think about it!
The PPV...
As for the Survivor Series itself, I guess I should go ahead and do my predictions so I can put this baby to bed. Sounds like a plan, right? Here goes...
Hornswaggle McMahon vs. The Great Khali
This is going to be strictly comedy. Look for Coach to get involved somehow and be embarrassed. I expect we'll see Horny and Khali goof around a bit and then when Coach comes out to offer "encouragement" to Khali to "kill the little bastard", we'll see Khali do the chop-suey on Mr. Coachman. The referee will rule the match a no-contest and we'll see Khali & Horny become buddies and friends as they move on to form a new clique, "Oddities 2008", with The Boogeyman and Shannon Moore.
No Contest
10 Diva Tag Team Match
Maria, Kelly Kelly, Torrie Wilson, Mickie James & Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix, Victoria, Layla, Jillian Hall & Melina
All of the ladies who can actually wrestle (except for Mickie) are on one team. This isn't going to be pretty. I expect they'll get rid of the dead weight (the bimbettes) pretty quickly. Look for it to end up as Mickie (and maybe Kelly) up against Beth, Victoria, Jillian and Melina. Damn, I hope that Jillian doesn't decide to sing. But this is a big event. You know she will. Look for mixed signals between Phoenix & Victoria to set up a future encounter between the two best wrestlers in the Diva's roster. In the end, it will be Mickie making the super-woman comeback to eliminate most of her opponents before finally falling victim to the power of the Glamazon.
Oops! I just realized something. This will probably be a one-fall match rather than the traditional "Survivor Series" match. If it goes traditional, look for Beth (and Melina) to be the final survivors. But if it's one-fall, look for the "Bimbettes" to take home the win as Mickie scores a sneaky win / pin over Beth Phoenix to take the victory for her team.
Winners: The T&A Express
Survivor Series Elimination Match
Triple H, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio & Kane vs. Umaga, Fit Finlay, Mr. Kennedy, MVP & Big Daddy V
I still have problems with Matt Hardy being on the same team with Kane. What about the whole "kidnapping Lita - dead baby" stuff that happened a few years ago. I guess if Matt & Lita could become friends again, it's conceivable that he (Matt) could become friends with the man who kidnapped his girlfriend and raped her, impregnated her, and forced her into a marriage from hell. Why not? Team HHH is going to win. Have no doubts about that.
But two things come to mind for me. One is that Matt may not be able to wrestle since he was "injured" by MVP on Friday Night Smackdown. So if that happens, Team Hunter will need a suitable replacement. This would be a great spot to bring back Ric Flair and have him participate as the 5th man for Hunter's team. He deserves it and the fans would pop. And it would make sense with his long history with HHH, as well as in storyline since Matt's "injuries" should be to serious to allow him to wrestle. Then Matt has one more thing to hold against MVP and it helps build on what is easily the best feud in wrestling right now. Anyhow, put out Matt due to injuries and bring back the "Nature Boy".
As for the match, look for Big Daddy V & Kane to be eliminated early. A brawl to the back or something. I think Rey & Ric will be out next, followed by Finlay & Kennedy. HHH gets eliminated by MVP and Jeff Hardy takes out Umaga. It's down to Jeff & MVP and we see shenanigans again as the injured Matt Hardy comes to ringside and distracts MVP long enough for Jeff to score the upset win.
Winner & Sole Survivor - Jeff Hardy - Team HHH wins!
World Tag Team Championship Match
Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade (c) versus Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly
Cody & Holly are not ready for the tag titles yet. Trevor & Cade are a throwback to the older days of established and legit tag teams and still have a lot of gas left in their tank as the tag team champs. They retain the titles after Trevor pins Holly.
Winners: The Redneck Connection
Triple Threat Match - ECW World Championship
CM Punk (c) vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz
Miz & Morrison just won some gold over on Smackdown. They're partners now. So expect them to move into a love / hate relationship (aka Matt Hardy / MVP) as they attempt to keep their tag team gold. Damn! Miz is a champion? Who would have ever thought it could happen? As for the ECW Championship, that belt isn't changing hands any time soon.
Winner & Still Champion: CM Punk
WWE Championship Match
If HBK Uses Superkick, He Gets DQ'ed. If Orton gets DQ'ed, he loses the title.
Randy Orton (c) vs. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels
I talked about it earlier. Look for someone (Vince or Bret) to screw HBK. Orton retains the title.
Still Champion: Randy Orton
Hell In A Cell - World Heavyweight Championship
Dave Batista (c) vs. The Undertaker
Taker wins! Edge gets involved. Batista ends up with a notice in the papers saying "Rest in Peace". It's Taker's match - what do you expect?
Winner & New Champion: The Undertaker
So that's how I think it will all turn out. Am I correct? I guess we'll all know in a few hours.
More Random....
If I google my full name (Douglas Alan Maynard) - the first result that comes up is Douglas W. Maynard - a Professor and Director of Graduate Studies from the University of Wisconsin. OK - that's good to know.
Wonder what happens if I google the name of my columns. Let's find out...Tossing Salt: The first entry is about tossing salt for purification. Me (my MySpace anyhow) ranks Number 4.Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: I've got the first 5 spots - Yay! Four links to Wrestle-Zone. UK and then the MySpace page link.
Damn, I feel almost like a celebrity. Maybe I should start exposing my vajaja to the papparazi? Nah! First, I'd have to get a vajaja and that's going somewhere I'd rather not venture. Maybe I can buy one on Ebay? You can buy everything else there.Or at least on Craigslist. I saw where people were looking for livers and kidneys on there. So why not a vajaja?
See what over-exposure to Britney & Paris has done to me? I'm talking about vajaja's here. Sick! Sick! Sick!Let's see what comes up when I google "vajaja"...lmao!It's a site about tanning (http://www.iamtan. com/) and the piece is about hot wax and waxing to remove body hair and get that all-over tan.
I need a tan - I'm so pale right now, it's scary. I look like a white boy. But then again, I am a white boy so that might have something to do with it.
Duh!
The End... ???
And I guess that's it for me. Questions and comments sent to Doug28352@yahoo. com. I want to hear from you!
Come visit me over at MySpace at www.myspace. com/salt_ palace. Add me as a friend. You know you want to.
And I have a new home for blogs and random stuff. It's www.saltpalace2. blogspot. com. Come check it out for a side of Dougie that you've never, ever seen before.
Y2J returns to RAW and the WWE on Monday night. There is no truth to the rumors that he will be bringing with him a new tag team of "The Coreys" (Corey Haim & Corey Feldman) to manage in his spare time, even though that sounds like something WWE writers might suggest. Hell, look at all the success that they had with the K-Fed story lines and appearances? And after all, Y2J did spend a lot of his time off in Hollywood and making movies and albums so there's that "Hollywood Connection". It could happen. But I doubt it!
Anyhow, I'm gone for now. "Dat is all de' people need to know!"
Until the next time...
I'm Doug & you're not!
Ubuntu!
November 18, 2007
Doug Maynard
It's Doug and I'm back again. No, my writers are not on strike - it just seems that way. It's time for another exciting (?) edition of professional wrestling's most eclectic column, the one and only 'Tossing Salt". Are you ready?
No, I said "Are You Ready?"
So for the millions out there on the internet and hundreds of loyal "Saltines", let's get ready to "READ IT!"
Yeah, that's original!
By the way, if this column seems more awkward than usual, it's because I wrote part of it on Friday, part on Saturday and finished up today. And it's kind of random at points. Except for the Survivor Series stuff. Just read and enjoy. And remember that the views and opinions expressed in my columns are just my jaded outlook at things and not necessarily politically correct. I just calls it like I see it. 'Nuff said!
Let's do this!
Random...
Ron Paul - 2008: Of all the guys and beasties running for President right now, he's actually the best man for the job. Which means that, of course, he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in Hillary's presence. It'll be Rudy versus Hillary in the big election in November, 2008. My money is on the one from New York.
Pizza is good any time of day, hot or cold. But it makes me burp.
Work - it sucks! But I just got another raise! Yay! I want to quit, but I'm good at it and they keep giving me more money to stay. It's a vicious cycle.
Britney Spears - someone needs to commit that chick - for her own good!
Paris Hilton - someone needs to commit that chick - for our benefit. She's a hooch & gives slunts a bad name!
It seems as if my mail lady is running later and later every day. It must be the holiday season - or else she's changed her route around a bit. Whatever the reason, she needs to get her butt in gear. I want my mail!
Unless it's bills - and then she can keep 'em. Or I'll just pull the old Fred Sanford routine - aka "put 'em back in the mailbox!".
ACW had a show last night in Rockingham, NC. I had to work at the Kangaroo! So it was no ACW for me!
Hey Bill Bill - I hope you kicked some ass! And the team of B.D. Productions was back! And better than ever! Or were they? I need to call them boys!
Cold weather has begun to finally set in here in the 'Burg. It feels pretty good, but I've had to break out the jackets already. I don't like jackets - they're too bulky and confining. But it's either that or freeze! And I don't like freezing. It makes me look like a big, blue extra-large Smurf...
... without the pointy head or single digit IQ. They're cute, but not very smart. Except for Brainy. But he was just an ass...
I don't mind yawning - we all do it - but last night, while taking me to work, the mother-figure did that exaggerated, loud yawn six different times. For a three mile ride. And it shouldn't bother me - but for some reason, it just irked the hell out of me. I didn't say anything, but I wanted to. She probably can't help it - it's just the way she yawns, but six times - in less than five minutes - it just grates my nerves.
I bought a box of Count Chocula cereal at the store this morning. I haven't eaten that stuff since I was a small child. And I didn't much like it then. But the "Count Chocula" character was pretty cool. So I ate it then anyhow. And I bought the box today. Because it was on sale. Some things just never change.
Speaking of vamps, I just found out yesterday that Johnny Depp is a big Dark Shadows fan.... and he has entered an agreement with Warner Brothers about the possible production of a big budget "Dark Shadows" movie. That would be pretty incredible.. . And Depp is just eclectic and weird enough to make a great Barnabas.
And if I can be so bold to make a recommendation, how about David Boreanaz (sp) - "Angel" from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel" series - as Quentin Collins. I think he'd make a great manipulative man-beast type of guy.
Or the guy who played Will in "Will & Grace" - Eric McCormick - there is something about him that makes me think he could really do well in a dramatic role as an evil, twisted member of the "Collins" family.
A big shout out to the man I love who turned "27" a few days ago back on the 16th. I love ya, Chris & miss ya. Happy (belated) Birthday to a super-cool dude with a super cool 'tude! Yeah, I'm going there! Love ya!
Happy (belated) Birthday to my favorite set of redneck twins (two hell raisers for the price of one), Carl & Carson, who turned 41 back on November 12th. Ya'll were crazy - ya'll are crazy! Don't never change! And where's my beer?
'Rasslin...
Did Christian really call Sharmell a "nappy headed ho"? LMAO! Booker T(NA) versus Christian Cage - I know we've seen it before in WWE, but I think this is going to be a good (and fun) feud.
TNA is still as confusing as ever for me - and there is still way too much Total Non-Stop Angle, but some of the recent stuff has been awesome. Christian - his "Coalition" of AJ & Tomko - the defection to Team Angle (can they use that term?), the debuts of Booker T & Sharmell, and the return of Kevin Nash to the ring - and Scott Hall ("Hey Yo!") to the spotlight - TNA hasn't hit a home run yet, but they're getting there.
And Disco Inferno a few weeks ago too? Yay!
Disco Inferno > Don West - so replace West with Disco. I'd rather see Disco at Wrestlemania in Orlando, but I'll take my sightings when I can get 'em!
If WWE produced a version of "Hee Haw", would it be called "WWE Haw" or "HHHee HHHaw"?? Just wondering.
I should do a WWE Hee Haw parody. I'll put it on "the list". Maybe one day before Aurora Rose Levesque becomes CEO of WWE. Heh! Heh!
I miss Ric! WWE needs to be fair to Flair! Bring him back to TV - NOW! They say that WWE Creative has nothing for the "Nature Boy". Well, that's the storyline. Ric can cut promos shooting on WWE for not having "anything for a 16-time World Champion" and then take challenges from the WWE superstars. It's the Rodney Mack "white boy challenge", but it's Ric Flair and he's not quite as racist and way too old to be called a "boy". But let Ric win by hook, crook, and any means necessary over different jobbers and mid-carders and the storyline is that he's out to "prove himself" and get back into contention for the WWE or World title. He can say the champs (Taker/ Batista & Orton /HBK: pending the results from Sunday night) are "ducking him" and after he keeps winning, he can end up doing a program with CM Punk for the ECW title. It'd put Ric on TV, create a storyline, give Punk the education of a lifetime, give ECW some great exposure, increase the ratings, and certainly be better than some of the stuff on TV right now.
Except for Santino Marella. As a wrestler, he sucks, but as a comedy act / sniveling heel - he is magic. He's the next William Regal (except for the wrestling part!) It must be the accent! But he's awesome!
And Maria? She's pretty awesome too! She's no Ivory, but then again, who is?
May the force be with you.
Yeah, I'm down with the trilogy.
Joanie Laurer recently went to court and legally changed her name to Chyna. Wow! Wouldn't this have been a bigger piece of news like five years ago? After all this time, the name has little, if any marketability left and Chyna comes across as just a looney-toon desperate for attention. But then again, with her history since being dumped by HHH and fired from the WWF (Surreal Life, Surreal Life Games, Sean Waltman, Howard Stern, the movie with Anna Nicole, rehab, that movie, etc), can we really expect anything less from Miss Laurer besides craziness.
Also, when announcing that her name was once again (legally) Chyna, Miss Laurer also took the opportunity to bash Vince McMahon and challenge him to a fight. She's on her way, eventually to a permanent residence in a padded cell and rubber room. Yeah, I just said it. That gal ain't wrapped too tight and it seems that every time she seems to be becoming a relatively "normal" member of society, she flips out again. She's a nut!
But then again, look how well the whole "crazy" images work for Phil Spector and Britney? Hmmm!
This years Survivor Series is the tenth Anniversary of the infamous "Montreal Screwjob" involving Bret, Vince and HBK. Originally, Survivor Series was supposed to be coming from Montreal, but the WWE chickened out and changed the show from Montreal to instead. Wimps! So, even though it would be much better to let this dead horse die and rest in peace, you have to know that the main event, involving HBK, will be full of subtle (and some probably not so subtle) Montreal Screwjob references. Look for HBK to use the sharpshooter at least once - and for Vince, at some point, to tell the people to "ring the damn bell" as he tries to "screw HBK".
But I had a thought. And it's far fetched. It's even downright crazy (as crazy as Chyna & Britney?)... How about this for a scenario? HBK and Orton have a fantastic match. Towards the end, you see HBK start to go for a super-kick, but catch himself in time and instead, lock Orton in the sharpshooter. Orton struggles, but he's trapped. He's going to have to tap. HBK looks as if he's ready to once again become the WWE Champion.
And the fans are ready for some shenanigans. They're expecting Vince to come to ringside and "screw" HBK. Well, someone makes an appearance, but it's not Vince McMahon. As HBK drags Randy to the middle of the ring, from out of nowhere comes Bret "The Hitman" Hart. He comes to ringside and starts to come into the ring, but HBK sees him coming and breaks the hold as he goes to prevent "The Hitman" from getting involved in his match. HBK screams at Bret at ringside. Bret just smirks as the distracted HBK turns around and walks right into a RKO by the recovering Randy Orton. Bret gives Randy the thumbs up and smirks as he walks away. Randy pins HBK to win the match and retain the WWE Championship.
There you have it. Bret "screws" HBK out of the WWE Championship, thus getting revenge and paying a debt that's ten years due. Orton retains the title and can move on to his next challenger (Y2J). And Bret & Shawn never have to make contact and Bret doesn't have to risk his health or get into the ring (or even say a word). And the fans go crazy!
I know. It's not going to happen. Yeah, yeah! But a man can dream, right? And besides, isn't this the WWE where "anything can happen"? We never expected to see Eric Bischoff as the GM of RAW and make out with Linda & Stephanie, but it happened. We never expected to see Sable come back to the WWE after suing Vince for "sexual harassment", but it happened. We never expected to see Goldberg in the WWE or see Christian, Kurt Angle or Booker T leave WWE and it all happened. The WWE has a big history of "expect the unexpected" and for the 10th Anniversary of the "Screwjob", wouldn't this be a great way to finally put baby to bed? Think about it!
The PPV...
As for the Survivor Series itself, I guess I should go ahead and do my predictions so I can put this baby to bed. Sounds like a plan, right? Here goes...
Hornswaggle McMahon vs. The Great Khali
This is going to be strictly comedy. Look for Coach to get involved somehow and be embarrassed. I expect we'll see Horny and Khali goof around a bit and then when Coach comes out to offer "encouragement" to Khali to "kill the little bastard", we'll see Khali do the chop-suey on Mr. Coachman. The referee will rule the match a no-contest and we'll see Khali & Horny become buddies and friends as they move on to form a new clique, "Oddities 2008", with The Boogeyman and Shannon Moore.
No Contest
10 Diva Tag Team Match
Maria, Kelly Kelly, Torrie Wilson, Mickie James & Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix, Victoria, Layla, Jillian Hall & Melina
All of the ladies who can actually wrestle (except for Mickie) are on one team. This isn't going to be pretty. I expect they'll get rid of the dead weight (the bimbettes) pretty quickly. Look for it to end up as Mickie (and maybe Kelly) up against Beth, Victoria, Jillian and Melina. Damn, I hope that Jillian doesn't decide to sing. But this is a big event. You know she will. Look for mixed signals between Phoenix & Victoria to set up a future encounter between the two best wrestlers in the Diva's roster. In the end, it will be Mickie making the super-woman comeback to eliminate most of her opponents before finally falling victim to the power of the Glamazon.
Oops! I just realized something. This will probably be a one-fall match rather than the traditional "Survivor Series" match. If it goes traditional, look for Beth (and Melina) to be the final survivors. But if it's one-fall, look for the "Bimbettes" to take home the win as Mickie scores a sneaky win / pin over Beth Phoenix to take the victory for her team.
Winners: The T&A Express
Survivor Series Elimination Match
Triple H, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio & Kane vs. Umaga, Fit Finlay, Mr. Kennedy, MVP & Big Daddy V
I still have problems with Matt Hardy being on the same team with Kane. What about the whole "kidnapping Lita - dead baby" stuff that happened a few years ago. I guess if Matt & Lita could become friends again, it's conceivable that he (Matt) could become friends with the man who kidnapped his girlfriend and raped her, impregnated her, and forced her into a marriage from hell. Why not? Team HHH is going to win. Have no doubts about that.
But two things come to mind for me. One is that Matt may not be able to wrestle since he was "injured" by MVP on Friday Night Smackdown. So if that happens, Team Hunter will need a suitable replacement. This would be a great spot to bring back Ric Flair and have him participate as the 5th man for Hunter's team. He deserves it and the fans would pop. And it would make sense with his long history with HHH, as well as in storyline since Matt's "injuries" should be to serious to allow him to wrestle. Then Matt has one more thing to hold against MVP and it helps build on what is easily the best feud in wrestling right now. Anyhow, put out Matt due to injuries and bring back the "Nature Boy".
As for the match, look for Big Daddy V & Kane to be eliminated early. A brawl to the back or something. I think Rey & Ric will be out next, followed by Finlay & Kennedy. HHH gets eliminated by MVP and Jeff Hardy takes out Umaga. It's down to Jeff & MVP and we see shenanigans again as the injured Matt Hardy comes to ringside and distracts MVP long enough for Jeff to score the upset win.
Winner & Sole Survivor - Jeff Hardy - Team HHH wins!
World Tag Team Championship Match
Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade (c) versus Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly
Cody & Holly are not ready for the tag titles yet. Trevor & Cade are a throwback to the older days of established and legit tag teams and still have a lot of gas left in their tank as the tag team champs. They retain the titles after Trevor pins Holly.
Winners: The Redneck Connection
Triple Threat Match - ECW World Championship
CM Punk (c) vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz
Miz & Morrison just won some gold over on Smackdown. They're partners now. So expect them to move into a love / hate relationship (aka Matt Hardy / MVP) as they attempt to keep their tag team gold. Damn! Miz is a champion? Who would have ever thought it could happen? As for the ECW Championship, that belt isn't changing hands any time soon.
Winner & Still Champion: CM Punk
WWE Championship Match
If HBK Uses Superkick, He Gets DQ'ed. If Orton gets DQ'ed, he loses the title.
Randy Orton (c) vs. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels
I talked about it earlier. Look for someone (Vince or Bret) to screw HBK. Orton retains the title.
Still Champion: Randy Orton
Hell In A Cell - World Heavyweight Championship
Dave Batista (c) vs. The Undertaker
Taker wins! Edge gets involved. Batista ends up with a notice in the papers saying "Rest in Peace". It's Taker's match - what do you expect?
Winner & New Champion: The Undertaker
So that's how I think it will all turn out. Am I correct? I guess we'll all know in a few hours.
More Random....
If I google my full name (Douglas Alan Maynard) - the first result that comes up is Douglas W. Maynard - a Professor and Director of Graduate Studies from the University of Wisconsin. OK - that's good to know.
Wonder what happens if I google the name of my columns. Let's find out...Tossing Salt: The first entry is about tossing salt for purification. Me (my MySpace anyhow) ranks Number 4.Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: I've got the first 5 spots - Yay! Four links to Wrestle-Zone. UK and then the MySpace page link.
Damn, I feel almost like a celebrity. Maybe I should start exposing my vajaja to the papparazi? Nah! First, I'd have to get a vajaja and that's going somewhere I'd rather not venture. Maybe I can buy one on Ebay? You can buy everything else there.Or at least on Craigslist. I saw where people were looking for livers and kidneys on there. So why not a vajaja?
See what over-exposure to Britney & Paris has done to me? I'm talking about vajaja's here. Sick! Sick! Sick!Let's see what comes up when I google "vajaja"...lmao!It's a site about tanning (http://www.iamtan. com/) and the piece is about hot wax and waxing to remove body hair and get that all-over tan.
I need a tan - I'm so pale right now, it's scary. I look like a white boy. But then again, I am a white boy so that might have something to do with it.
Duh!
The End... ???
And I guess that's it for me. Questions and comments sent to Doug28352@yahoo. com. I want to hear from you!
Come visit me over at MySpace at www.myspace. com/salt_ palace. Add me as a friend. You know you want to.
And I have a new home for blogs and random stuff. It's www.saltpalace2. blogspot. com. Come check it out for a side of Dougie that you've never, ever seen before.
Y2J returns to RAW and the WWE on Monday night. There is no truth to the rumors that he will be bringing with him a new tag team of "The Coreys" (Corey Haim & Corey Feldman) to manage in his spare time, even though that sounds like something WWE writers might suggest. Hell, look at all the success that they had with the K-Fed story lines and appearances? And after all, Y2J did spend a lot of his time off in Hollywood and making movies and albums so there's that "Hollywood Connection". It could happen. But I doubt it!
Anyhow, I'm gone for now. "Dat is all de' people need to know!"
Until the next time...
I'm Doug & you're not!
Ubuntu!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Random - Part II (Fun With Google)
Back again after a few hours of sleep. I live for the power-naps. If I had to sleep for 8 or 9 hours straight, I couldn't do it. I mean, I could... but it wouldn't be right for me and I'd be feeling as if I'd wasted the entire day (or night as the case may be) sleeping. But give me two 0r three 2-3 hour power-naps a day - and I get as much sleep as the average person, but I manage to get more stuff done and it works out better for me anyhow.
I don't really have anything specific to talk about, but I told myself that I would spend at least 20-30 minutes blogging before I go to work tonight. And I'm trying to keep myself on a routine of sorts. And devote a little time every day to just sitting here at the computer and writing down my thoughts.
If I google my full name (Douglas Alan Maynard) - the first result that comes up is Douglas W. Maynard - a Professor and Director of Graduate Studies from the University of Wisconsin. OK - that's good to know.
Wonder what happens if I google the name of my columns. Let's find out...
Tossing Salt: The first entry is about tossing salt for purification. Me (my MySpace anyhow) ranks Number 4.
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: I've got the first 5 spots - Yay! Four links to Wrestle-Zone.UK and then the MySpace page link. Damn, I feel almost like a celebrity. Maybe I should start exposing my vajaja to the papparazi? Nah! First, I'd have to get a vajaja and that's going somewhere I'd rather not venture. Maybe I can buy one on Ebay? You can buy everything else there.
Or at least on Craigslist. I saw where people were looking for livers and kidneys on there. So why not a vajaja?
See what over-exposure to Britney & Paris has done to me? I'm talking about vajaja's here. Sick! Sick! Sick!
Let's see what comes up when I google "vajaja"...lmao!
It's a site about tanning (http://www.iamtan.com/) and the piece is about hot wax and waxing to remove body hair and get that all-over tan.
I need a tan - I'm so pale right now, it's scary. I look like a white boy. But then again, I am a white boy so that might have something to do with it.
Duh!
That's it for now - I'm down and I'm gone!
Ubuntu!
I don't really have anything specific to talk about, but I told myself that I would spend at least 20-30 minutes blogging before I go to work tonight. And I'm trying to keep myself on a routine of sorts. And devote a little time every day to just sitting here at the computer and writing down my thoughts.
If I google my full name (Douglas Alan Maynard) - the first result that comes up is Douglas W. Maynard - a Professor and Director of Graduate Studies from the University of Wisconsin. OK - that's good to know.
Wonder what happens if I google the name of my columns. Let's find out...
Tossing Salt: The first entry is about tossing salt for purification. Me (my MySpace anyhow) ranks Number 4.
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: I've got the first 5 spots - Yay! Four links to Wrestle-Zone.UK and then the MySpace page link. Damn, I feel almost like a celebrity. Maybe I should start exposing my vajaja to the papparazi? Nah! First, I'd have to get a vajaja and that's going somewhere I'd rather not venture. Maybe I can buy one on Ebay? You can buy everything else there.
Or at least on Craigslist. I saw where people were looking for livers and kidneys on there. So why not a vajaja?
See what over-exposure to Britney & Paris has done to me? I'm talking about vajaja's here. Sick! Sick! Sick!
Let's see what comes up when I google "vajaja"...lmao!
It's a site about tanning (http://www.iamtan.com/) and the piece is about hot wax and waxing to remove body hair and get that all-over tan.
I need a tan - I'm so pale right now, it's scary. I look like a white boy. But then again, I am a white boy so that might have something to do with it.
Duh!
That's it for now - I'm down and I'm gone!
Ubuntu!
Random (Just How I Like It)
Well - until MySpace gets off it's high horse and allows me to blog again - this is it - my new bloggy home. Gotta love it! Who needs Tom anyhow??
Tomorrow is the Survivor Series. Yawn! It looks like it'll be a good card, but I'm still undecided about ordering it or not. I really can't afford it... but then again, when has that ever mattered? I'll decided tomorrow at about 7:58pm, I guess.
I have to admit that Hornswaggle versus Great Khali is pretty inticing. My money is on the freak to win. : )
My current "B.F.W.B.F." (you figure it out - use your imagination) - is gone now for 45 days. He entered a detox Tuesday morning and will be going from there to a 45 day rehab program. This is great for Danny. He's a fantastic and great guy with a lot of baggage. I'm gonna miss having him around, but this is the best thing he can do and I hope he's able to come back better and stronger than ever. I didn't realize how bad his problem was until the other day (last week), but it's pretty bad. And maybe once he get's clean, we can concentrate on his brother too. Damn, that's a sexy beast! And he keeps hitting on me. So far, I'm resisting. But for how long? I'm only human!
Pizza is good any time of day, hot or cold. But it makes me burp.
Work - it sucks! But I just got another raise! Yay! I want to quit, but I'm good at it and they kep giving me more money to stay. It's a vicious cycle.
Britney Spears - someone needs to commit that chick - for her own good!
Paris Hilton - someone needs to commit that chick - for our benefit. She's a hooch!
It seems as if my mail lady is running later and later every day. It must be the holiday season - or else she's changed her route around a bit. Whatever the reason, she needs to get her butt in gear. I want my mail!
Unless it's bills - and then she can keep 'em. Or I'll just pull the old Fred Sanford routine - aka "put 'em back in the mailbox!".
ACW has a show tonight in Rockingham, NC. I've got to work at the Kangaroo! So I guess that's no ACW for me!
Hey Bill Bill - kick some ass! And the team of B.D. Productions is back! And better than ever!
Cold weather has begun to finally set in here in the 'Burg. It feels pretty good, but I've had to break out the jackets already. I don't like jackets - they're too bulky and confining. But it's either that or freeze! And I don't like freezing. It makes me look like a big, blue extra-large Smurf...
... without the pointy head or single digit IQ. They're cute, but not very smart. Except for Brainy. But he was just an ass...
I don't mind yawning - we all do it - but last night, while taking me to work, the mother-figure did that exaggerated, loud yawn six different times. For a three mile ride. And it shouldn't bother me - but for some reason, it just irked the hell out of me. I didn't say anything, but I wanted to. She probably can't help it - it's just the way she yawns, but six times - in less than five minutes - it just grates my nerves.
I bought a box of Count Chocula cereal at the store this morning. I haven't eaten that stuff since I was a small child. And I didn't much like it then. But the "Count Chocula" character was pretty cool. So I ate it then anyhow. And I bought the box today. Because it was on sale. Some things just never change.
Speaking of vamps, I just found out yesterday that Johnny Depp is a big Dark Shadows fan.... and he has entered an agreement with Warner Brothers about the possible production of a big budget "Dark Shadows" movie. That would be pretty incredible... And Depp is just eclectic and weird enough to make a great Barnabas.
And if I can be so bold to make a recomendation, how about David Boreanaz (sp) - "Angel" from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel" series - as Quentin Collins. I think he'd make a great manipulative wolfy type of guy.
Or the guy who played Will in "Will & Grace" - Eric McCormick - there is something about him that makes me think he could really do well in a dramatic role as an evil, twisted member of the "Collins" family.
Did Christian really call Sharmell a "nappy headed ho"? LMAO! Booker T(NA) versus Christian Cage - I know we've seen it before in WWE, but I think this is going to be a good (and fun) feud.
TNA is still as confusing as ever for me - and there is still way too much Total Non-Stop Angle, but some of the recent stuff has been awesome. Christian - his "Coalition" of AJ & Tomko - the defection to Team Angle (can they use that term?), the debuts of Booker T & Sharmell, and the return of Kevin Nash to the ring - and Scott Hall ("Hey Yo!") to the spotlight - TNA hasn't hit a home run yet, but they're getting there.
And Disco Inferno a few weeks ago too? Yay!
Disco Inferno > Don West - so replace West with Disco. I'd rather see Disco at Wrestlemania in Orlando, but I'll take my sightings when I can get 'em!
If WWE produced a version of "Hee Haw", would it be called "WWE Haw" or "HHHee HHHaw"?? Just wondering.
I should do a WWE Hee Haw parody. I'll put it on "the list". Maybe one day before Aurora Rose Levesque becomes CEO of WWE. Heh! Heh!
You know, except for the stuff about Danny, this almost seems like an edition of "Tossing Salt". Maybe I should just stick a header on it and send it in as a column. It'd probably make Gary happy. Hmmmmmm! I'll think about it!
I miss Ric! WWE needs to be fair to Flair! Bring him back to TV - NOW! They say that WWE Creative has nothing for the "Nature Boy". Well, that's the storyline. Ric can cut promos shooting on WWE for not having "anything for a 16-time World Champion" and then take challenges from the WWE superstars. It's the Rodney Mack "white boy challenge", but it's Ric Flair and he's not quite as racist and way too old to be called a "boy". But let Ric win by hook, crook, and any means necessary over different jobbers and mid-carders and the storyline is that he's out to "prove himself" and get back into contention for the WWE or World title. He can say the champs (Taker/ Batista & Orton /HBK: pending the results from Sunday night) are "ducking him" and after he keeps winning, he can end up doing a program with CM Punk for the ECW title. It'd put Ric on TV, create a storyline, give Punk the education of a lifetime, give ECW some great exposure, increase the ratings, and certainly be better than some of the stuff on TV right now.
Except for Santino Marella. As a wrestler, he sucks, but as a comedy act / sniveling heel - he is magic. He's the next William Regal (except for the wrestling part!) It must be the accent! But he's awesome!
And Maria? She's pretty awesome too! She's no Ivory, but then again, who is?
Well, for now, I'm gone. The mail lady is out there and I have bills, I mean "letters" to read. I'm headed downtown to Chinatown - and may the force be with you.
Yeah, I'm down with the trilogy.
Ubuntu!
Friday, November 16, 2007
A Dream & The Power of MySpace...
Well, I had a very weird dream this afternoon right before I woke up to get ready for work. I have a shirt with a clown on it that says, "Must Be This Long To Ride" - it's a funny shirt - and kind of controversial - I admit it. It's at the focus of the dream. I'll leave out most of the details, but the focus of the dream was I was being chased, harassed and threatned - because I wore that shirt in public - I was a pervert & a freak - damn it all, I had people out to get me because I'm gay!
Not really all that scary, I guess, but the sad thing is that it's possible for what was a dream to become reality - ask Matthew Sheppard's family - it happens to gay men and women every day - and even though my dream was a bit on the extreme side with groups of people in full riot mode - andeven silly at times with a few crossdressers & an appearance by my dog, Spice (in full Lassie routine - there to save the day at the last moment - and I won a pool game (I don't play pool) - I recognized the message amidst the lunacy - I've always felt comfortable with my sexuality and myself - at least for the past few years - I have lots of issues, but being comfortable as a gay man isn't one 'em....
But the dream hit home about how quickly things can change - and though I may be comfortable, I can never really be totally safe or free from the bigotry or prejidice in this world.
Hmm, that's something to think about.
***
Moving on....
Last night at the store, I had an encounter with a group of kids from the local college. Long story short since I'm running out of time before I have to go to work - they came in and bought some stuff - there were five of them. This was right at 2:00am. One of the boys paid for his stuff with a debit card. Anyhow, one of the students went to the beer cooler to get beer. It was too late to buy alcohol and I told the young lady that. They acted kind of stuffy and then a group of local lowlifes came into the store and piled around the register to be their usual annoying self. I watched the girl in the security mirror and while I was busy with the crowd at the register, she went back to the beer cooler and grabbed a six pack of Heinekin.
She moved up the front aisle of the store and I hollered at her that it was too late for the alcohol. And she quickly ran up the aisle and out the door to her car where the others were waiting - and I was right behind her - the others didn't seem to know what was going on, but she was like "Go....Go...!" and they took off. I got part of the tag number, but I wasn't able to get past the front store doors because of the other people in the store.
Well, I called the law and did a report and it's all on camera, etc. But I started thinking and remembered that her buddy had used a debit card. And since they were college kids, I'm betting that I could probably find them on the MySpace - after all, everyone under the age of 40 (and a few of us older) all have MySpace accounts. It's the thing to do.
So I copied the name off the debit card and when I got home, I searched for this guy. And guess what - I found him pretty quickly. And from his "Friends List" - I managed to find three of the others - INCLUDING the girl who stole the six pack.
I should have been a detective.
So do I give this info to the cops so they can do nothing? Do I contact these people - or at least my thief and let her know she's been busted? I haven't decided yet, but the ball is definitely in my court.
It's pretty nice!
OK, I have to go finish getting ready for work - that means brush the teeth again and (maybe) shave. So I'm down and I'm gone!
Until the next time...
Ubuntu!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Quick Ramblings
I tried to create a new profile at the MySpace today. And guess what - even on that profile, I still couldn't blog. What is it about my computer and MySpace. I think Tom is determined to make my life miserable. Well, he doesn't know about this blog... yet! No one does. But they will. And I will blog again! Yay!
I leave for work in 8 minutes. That sucks!
I watched three DVD's (six episodes) of Hee Haw today. Yeah, it's corny, but still pretty good. I wonder if there is a market for that kind of show in today's world? I also wonder if I could do a parody of WWE Haw - Hee Haw with wrestlers? That might be fun.
Six minutes to go.
I haven't seen Danny or James since the other day. I guess they're over me. Or maybe they sensed my unease at their life-style. Who knows. Danny did call here on Monday night (at 1 in the AM) and I was 1/2 asleep - and didn't want to talk. Nothing since then. I expect that since I'm ready to write them off and move on (hate to with Danny - he's a sweetie), they'll probably pop up tomorrow. I guess we can wait and see.
I've got so much to write about, but no time - no time. Maybe I can do something in the morning after work? If I'm still feeling the fire, I guess I will.
3 minutes to d-day. I need to go to work. So for now, I'm gone! Later gators!
Ubuntu!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
A Sad Journey
Just a few nights ago (Thursday night to be exact), I took a trip into a world that I haven't seen in quite a while - the world of drug abuse. I was (and am) an outsider who was invited on the journey by a young man who I care a great deal for. This was his last night in the world of nightmares - he's decided to give it up and try to be clean - he left Friday afternoon for Detox, to be followed by 45 days of Rehab.
Anyhow, I worked second shift on Thursday night and he wanted to be with me that last night. And more specifically, he wanted me to learn about the other side of him and his life - the side that I suspected, but hadn't yet seen in our short time together.
First, let me talk about Danny. He's a great guy with a lot of baggage. He's been to prison - he doesn't have a job - he's got a bad reputation around the neighborhood (mostly deserved) and is as far from an angel as you can find. He's also a warm, sweet guy with a great personality and a big heart. He's done a lot of stupid things in his life, but he's not a bad guy. He's never hurt anyone but himself in his dastardly deeds.
And (I'm hesitant to admit this), he's touched me in so many ways - I won't go so far as to say I love the guy (my heart belongs to another), but when I'm around Danny, there is a magic and a connection there that is unlike any that I've ever felt before, even with Chris. What was supposed to be a quick fling and a one-time thing has turned into something that I never anticipated or wanted.
But that's my burden to bear for another day. I was talking about the drugs. I know that Danny drinks. I drink too (on occasion), but he honestly has the shakes when he's not drinking. His body is physically addicted to the alcohol - and that's going to be the hard part for him. And then there is the coke.
I rode with him to get his drugs. I watched him smoke the rocks. I watched him go from one emotional extreme to the other. I listened to him cry about what his life is like and what he has become. And minutes later, the tears not even dry yet on his cheeks, he was asking me for money and wanting another hit.
This continued for most of the night - we sat in a small pickup in the middle of the woods and just talked - well, he talked and I listened. I refused to buy him any more drugs and he accepted that. He cried. We hugged. We connected in so many ways. And then, finally, we decided to call it a night.
I had seen several sides of Danny that I didn't know before - and although I didn't like what I saw, I also realized just how much this guy means to me. I don't want to lose him to the drugs, as I did Pa (an ex) - and I would love to see him get straightened out and make something of himself. It's not going to be easy, but he was ready to leave - to go get clean and take that first step.
And then came his brother, James.
After we said our goodbyes, I came home and Danny went home. Upon arriving home, he found out that his older brother had been out all night with his (James) girlfriend's truck and that James had cleaned out their bank-card for drugs. Danny's Mom filled him in and said that the law was probably going to lock James up.
Danny charged out of the house and in the truck he had borrowed the night before (from another friend / addict), he came to my house and wanted me to go with him to "save his brother". We went to James' house and woke him up from the couch. And left, taking him with us. As we left, we passed James' girlfriend heading back towards the house, followed by two Sheriff cars. Oops! I guess she was pissed.
Anyhow, we got James and went to the other friend's house - the truck owners - stopping on the way there to go get more coke. James, like his brother, is a drug addict. I'm riding around the county in a borrowed truck with two very high, drug addicts at this point and trying to avoid the law. After much hoopla and other B.S., which I don't feel like getting into right now, we ended up back at the truck owner's home.
He was PO'ed about Danny being out with the truck all night, but if they'd get him a rock, he'd forget about it. Long story short - I sat and watched these three men smoke up countless amounts of powder.... and I was just thinking to myself - WHY? It wasn't even enjoyable for them - it was just a constant cycle of smoking a rock and then wondering how to get the next one. It was so messed up. Danny left - he had promised his Ma that he would go to the rehab that day and she was waiting at the house - so even though he had been drinking and smoking most of the night, he was keeping to his word and left.
I started to leave with him - I didn't want to be there at this point and was anxious to get home. But he told me that he wanted me to stay there and get to know his brother, James better. He wanted us to be friends. (Actually, I've known James for a while - not very well, but we've been friendly and neighborly for a couple of years now.) And James asked me to stay as well, so against my better judgement, I stayed.
James and the home-owner continued to smoke their coke while I looked on and was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. James sent Doug (the owner of the house - he has the same name as I do) to the store to get a lighter and some cigs. And then he made his move - it's his birthday tomorrow (today now) and he wants to have some fun for his birthday. He wants me to loan him some money and anything I want to do, we can. Yeah, the brother was hitting on me. And James is hot! Very hot! But my feelings for his little brother, as well as my disgust for the whole situation overcame my lust at the thought of using James to satisfy my urges and I just said "no". He began to talk about how he knew that I was gay ("queer as a three dollar bill" was his exact term) and he knew that I had the hots for him. And all of that is true - very true. If this had been a year ago... or even a month ago, I would have gladly taken him up on his offer.... but after a night with his brother and after several hours of watching this adonis smoke one rock after another and then try to sell himself to me... I wasn't feeling lust. I was feeling disgust. And pity.
I gave James a twenty for a birthday gift and got a big hug in return. And the damn fool copped a feel. I almost gave in then, but again said no. And then I left. He (James) called me last night, but I didn't answer.
So I don't really know what's going on now or where I stand. James is a persistant type and I know that I'll have to deal with him again. And I might not be so strong or repulsed to turn away again. And Danny - he's taken a piece of my heart. But after seeing the world he lives in - and the enviroment he's used to, my hopes for him coming through this whole process clean and sober and straight - I'm just not sure how it will work. I'm going to be as supportive as I can for the guy. If nothing else, we're friends and he has taken a piece of my heart.
But even as often as I've been around the drug world, I'm amazed as how much control that little piece of powder has on people. It has control of Danny and he's trying to escape it. It has control of James and he's happily and willingly it's slave - to the point of sacrificing his relationships with his girlfriend (cleaning out their bank account) and his brother (putting moves on me) to enjoy another moment of that drugged out effect. I just don't get it.
I guess that's why I've been fortunate enough to stay off of drugs, even though I've been around them and both dealers and addicts for most of my life. I can't see allowing a momentary false feeling to control my life and actions. I just don't get it.
Does this blog make any sense? Not really, but it doesn't have to. I had forgotten just how fucked up the world of a drug addict can be - but after roughly twelve hours with Danny and James, I was overwhelmed by the craziness and chaos. And I was onlly there for a short time. They live this shit every single day.
I hope Danny can do this and get clean. I hope James doesn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere and someday is able to get out of this world of insanity in which he's so deeply submerged. And I hope that I never have to witness the waste and hopelessness again that I saw on Thursday night and Friday morning.
These guys are capable of so much more and they're wasting it.... just fuckin' wasting it all and wasting away in the process.
Damn, it's a bitch!
Anyhow, I worked second shift on Thursday night and he wanted to be with me that last night. And more specifically, he wanted me to learn about the other side of him and his life - the side that I suspected, but hadn't yet seen in our short time together.
First, let me talk about Danny. He's a great guy with a lot of baggage. He's been to prison - he doesn't have a job - he's got a bad reputation around the neighborhood (mostly deserved) and is as far from an angel as you can find. He's also a warm, sweet guy with a great personality and a big heart. He's done a lot of stupid things in his life, but he's not a bad guy. He's never hurt anyone but himself in his dastardly deeds.
And (I'm hesitant to admit this), he's touched me in so many ways - I won't go so far as to say I love the guy (my heart belongs to another), but when I'm around Danny, there is a magic and a connection there that is unlike any that I've ever felt before, even with Chris. What was supposed to be a quick fling and a one-time thing has turned into something that I never anticipated or wanted.
But that's my burden to bear for another day. I was talking about the drugs. I know that Danny drinks. I drink too (on occasion), but he honestly has the shakes when he's not drinking. His body is physically addicted to the alcohol - and that's going to be the hard part for him. And then there is the coke.
I rode with him to get his drugs. I watched him smoke the rocks. I watched him go from one emotional extreme to the other. I listened to him cry about what his life is like and what he has become. And minutes later, the tears not even dry yet on his cheeks, he was asking me for money and wanting another hit.
This continued for most of the night - we sat in a small pickup in the middle of the woods and just talked - well, he talked and I listened. I refused to buy him any more drugs and he accepted that. He cried. We hugged. We connected in so many ways. And then, finally, we decided to call it a night.
I had seen several sides of Danny that I didn't know before - and although I didn't like what I saw, I also realized just how much this guy means to me. I don't want to lose him to the drugs, as I did Pa (an ex) - and I would love to see him get straightened out and make something of himself. It's not going to be easy, but he was ready to leave - to go get clean and take that first step.
And then came his brother, James.
After we said our goodbyes, I came home and Danny went home. Upon arriving home, he found out that his older brother had been out all night with his (James) girlfriend's truck and that James had cleaned out their bank-card for drugs. Danny's Mom filled him in and said that the law was probably going to lock James up.
Danny charged out of the house and in the truck he had borrowed the night before (from another friend / addict), he came to my house and wanted me to go with him to "save his brother". We went to James' house and woke him up from the couch. And left, taking him with us. As we left, we passed James' girlfriend heading back towards the house, followed by two Sheriff cars. Oops! I guess she was pissed.
Anyhow, we got James and went to the other friend's house - the truck owners - stopping on the way there to go get more coke. James, like his brother, is a drug addict. I'm riding around the county in a borrowed truck with two very high, drug addicts at this point and trying to avoid the law. After much hoopla and other B.S., which I don't feel like getting into right now, we ended up back at the truck owner's home.
He was PO'ed about Danny being out with the truck all night, but if they'd get him a rock, he'd forget about it. Long story short - I sat and watched these three men smoke up countless amounts of powder.... and I was just thinking to myself - WHY? It wasn't even enjoyable for them - it was just a constant cycle of smoking a rock and then wondering how to get the next one. It was so messed up. Danny left - he had promised his Ma that he would go to the rehab that day and she was waiting at the house - so even though he had been drinking and smoking most of the night, he was keeping to his word and left.
I started to leave with him - I didn't want to be there at this point and was anxious to get home. But he told me that he wanted me to stay there and get to know his brother, James better. He wanted us to be friends. (Actually, I've known James for a while - not very well, but we've been friendly and neighborly for a couple of years now.) And James asked me to stay as well, so against my better judgement, I stayed.
James and the home-owner continued to smoke their coke while I looked on and was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. James sent Doug (the owner of the house - he has the same name as I do) to the store to get a lighter and some cigs. And then he made his move - it's his birthday tomorrow (today now) and he wants to have some fun for his birthday. He wants me to loan him some money and anything I want to do, we can. Yeah, the brother was hitting on me. And James is hot! Very hot! But my feelings for his little brother, as well as my disgust for the whole situation overcame my lust at the thought of using James to satisfy my urges and I just said "no". He began to talk about how he knew that I was gay ("queer as a three dollar bill" was his exact term) and he knew that I had the hots for him. And all of that is true - very true. If this had been a year ago... or even a month ago, I would have gladly taken him up on his offer.... but after a night with his brother and after several hours of watching this adonis smoke one rock after another and then try to sell himself to me... I wasn't feeling lust. I was feeling disgust. And pity.
I gave James a twenty for a birthday gift and got a big hug in return. And the damn fool copped a feel. I almost gave in then, but again said no. And then I left. He (James) called me last night, but I didn't answer.
So I don't really know what's going on now or where I stand. James is a persistant type and I know that I'll have to deal with him again. And I might not be so strong or repulsed to turn away again. And Danny - he's taken a piece of my heart. But after seeing the world he lives in - and the enviroment he's used to, my hopes for him coming through this whole process clean and sober and straight - I'm just not sure how it will work. I'm going to be as supportive as I can for the guy. If nothing else, we're friends and he has taken a piece of my heart.
But even as often as I've been around the drug world, I'm amazed as how much control that little piece of powder has on people. It has control of Danny and he's trying to escape it. It has control of James and he's happily and willingly it's slave - to the point of sacrificing his relationships with his girlfriend (cleaning out their bank account) and his brother (putting moves on me) to enjoy another moment of that drugged out effect. I just don't get it.
I guess that's why I've been fortunate enough to stay off of drugs, even though I've been around them and both dealers and addicts for most of my life. I can't see allowing a momentary false feeling to control my life and actions. I just don't get it.
Does this blog make any sense? Not really, but it doesn't have to. I had forgotten just how fucked up the world of a drug addict can be - but after roughly twelve hours with Danny and James, I was overwhelmed by the craziness and chaos. And I was onlly there for a short time. They live this shit every single day.
I hope Danny can do this and get clean. I hope James doesn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere and someday is able to get out of this world of insanity in which he's so deeply submerged. And I hope that I never have to witness the waste and hopelessness again that I saw on Thursday night and Friday morning.
These guys are capable of so much more and they're wasting it.... just fuckin' wasting it all and wasting away in the process.
Damn, it's a bitch!
Fabulous Moolah & Dog The Bounty Hunter
So what should I talk about. Two subjects are at the top of the list. Decisions! Decisions! Should I talk about the whole recent Duane 'Dog' Chapman scandal or should I talk about The Fabulous Moolah, who passed away just a few days ago?
Hell, I'm versatile (or so I've been told), so I'll just talk about both.
First, we'll go with Moolah. What needs to be said? She was tough as nails and a true legend and icon in a world where those words are used far too frequently. It's impossible to even think about the world of professional wrestling and women's wrestling in general without the name of Lillian Ellison, aka "The Fabulous Moolah" coming to mind.
And in a business where it was always "dog eat dog" and only the strong survive, she not only survived, but thrived and established a legacy that lasted for over fifty years. We often talk about the politics of professional wrestling and how such wrestlers as Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Jeff Jarrett, The Kliq, Triple H, etc.. have played the game to ensure their success, often at the expense of others. But compared to Moolah, all of these so-called masters of the game were just novices at best. She was truly the best there was at what she did and no one else could even come close.
She wasn't a great wrestler, but she was a great character who the fans loved to hate, and love her or hate her, you have to give her kudos and respect for what she accomplished during her long career.
When I think of Moolah, two stories come to mind.
One is the so-called "screwjob" involving Wendi Richter and the WWE Women's Championship. Richter was supposed to defend the title against the Spider Woman. Richter was the Champion, but her contract had expired and she was not exactly thrilled with the new contract that Vince McMahon and the WWF were offering her. She wanted to have her lawyers look it over first and wouldn't allow herself to be pressured into rushing into the new deal with the WWF. Vince didn't like her reluctance to "trust him" and decided to take the title off of her. Enter Moolah, who wore a mask and pulled a shoot on the Champ. One ridiculously fast count later, Richter was the ex-champ and Moolah was back on top. Like it or not, she able to take a situation and use it to her advantage and regain that top spot. That's savy and smarts... and Moolah was certainly never lacking in either of those.
And then the other story is one that Ole Anderson relates in his book, "Inside Out - How The Corporate World Destroyed Professional Wrestling". (That title might not be 100% correct - I loaned the book out to a friend and this is from memory - but it's pretty close anyhow.)
Ole was the booker for Georgia Championship Wrestling at the time. He wanted to bring in Moolah and some of her ladies for a series of matches. Ole was a no nonsense type of wrestler and handled his booking the same way. It was his way or the highway - simple as that. Until he met Moolah. Ole talks about how he told Moolah before her match that he wanted a clean match - no nonsense. That meant no foreign objects, no clowning around, etc. He just wanted the ladies to go out there and wrestle. Moolah, of course, agreed to have a straight up match with none of her usual shenanigans.
Until she got into the ring. Once that bell rang, it was a typical Moolah match, complete with stalling, foreign objects, and all of the antics that Ole had told Moolah beforehand that he didn't want to see. After the match, Ole talks about how he confronted Moolah and began to lay into her about her antics. And this "Southern Belle" didn't bat an eye and tore into him with a cussing that would make any sailor proud. Ole went on to comment how anyone else would have been fired on the spot, but this was Moolah. What else could you do? She controlled the majority of the ladies working and if you wanted to use women wrestlers, you had to deal with her. She knew the power she had and didn't back down an inch.
That's the gist of the story anyhow and it just proves how tough Moolah really was. If she was your friend, you had a friend to the end who would be there for you. But when it came to politics and business and especially the politics and business of professional wrestling, she had few peers.
And even during the past few years, even though she was often used as a comedy act by the WWE during her cameos and appearances, she was still every inch the professional with a legacy and presence second to none.
Rest in Peace, Lillian Ellison, aka "The Fabulous Moolah"... You will be missed.
And then we move on to Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman.
You already know the story. Here is a transcript of the audio tape obtained by the National Enquirer of Dog the Bounty Hunter ordering his son Tucker to break up with his girlfriend who is black. Dog, who has 13 children total by 4 wives and other assorted baby mamas, doesn't feature Tucker in his popular show. Tucker was recently released from prison where he was serving 20 years on drug charges.
Duane "Dog" Chapman: I don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore or whatever. It's not because she's black, it's because we use the word ni**er sometimes here. I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some fucking ni**er heard us say ni**er and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over! I'm not taking that chance at all! Never in life! Never! Never! If Lyssa [Dog's daughter] was dating a ni**er, we would all say 'fuck you!' And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ya da da... it's not that they're black, it's none of that. It's that we use the word ni**er. We don't mean you fucking scum ni**er without a soul. We don't mean that shit. But America would think we mean that. And we're not taking a chance on losing everything we got over a racial slur because our son goes with a girl like that. I can't do that Tucker. You can't expect Gary, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids to [garbled] because 'I'm in love for 7 months' - fuck that! So, I'll help you get another job but you can not work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I can't handle that shit. I got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I got that girl saying she's gonna wear a recorder...Tucker Chapman: I don't even know what to say.
It sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? These words, used in a private phone conversation by the way, ended up costing Duane Chapman his reputation and his show, as A&E has pulled the plug and cancelled their hit show, "Dog the Bounty Hunter".
But I've read the statements over and over and I don't think that Chapman is racist. I've watched his show on occasion and far from being racist, he comes across as one of the more realistic folks on reality tv, if there is truly such a thing. I think he's got some redneck in him and if you want to stick a label in there, "white trash" might apply. But not racist. Not particularly smart in his choice of words either for that matter.
But I look at what he's saying. And I think to some of the language that I admittingly use at times. Very few people I know can honestly say that, when in their circle of friends or family, they haven't used a racial slur at one time or another. I cuss like a sailor - it's true. And although my words of choice are general assclown, dumb-ass, stupid-ass, or some other "ass" term, I have been caught up in the heat of the moment before and used the dreaded "N" word. But I don't consider it a racial thing - I used to refer to a lowlife, skummy person who I don't feel, at the moment, is worth the air it takes to keep him or her alive. It doesn't matter to me if they're black, white, indian, Mexican, or any other race... to me, a "ni**er" is a person who thinks the world owes them everyhing and has no respect for themselves or others and is a walking poster child in support of abortion - it's the lowest step on the ladder of life. It's not a race thing - it's a way of life.
Chapman, to me, seems to come across as the same way. He uses the "n-word" and shouldn't - that's true. But it's not about race. He says that himself. He doesn't like his son's girlfriend and wants him to dump her. Chapman was emotional and caught up in the heat of the moment as he argued with his son, and although he could have picked his words better, it's not about race. It's about what he feels that the girlfriend could (and evidently did) end up costing him and his family.
I have two observations here.
First off, it seems that Champan was right to be wary of his son and his girlfriend. He had what he thought was a private conversation on the phone with his son, and what happens? His son records the conversation, sells it to the National Enquirer for (reportedly) $15,000 - and just what Dog feared most actually happens - the career is over and the show is finished.
And secondly, I've heard so many people jump all over this and criticize Dog for his language.. in what he thought was a private phone conversation with his son. That doesn't excuse what he said, but what's the old saying about let he who is without sin cast the first stone... Everyone has, in private moments, in fits of anger, in jokes with their friends, etc. said things that they shouldn't. It might be the n-word, it might be talking about someone's fat ass, it might be the racial joke or gay joke, etc. We've all done it. I know I have. My language, at times, would make Dog's rant look like Mr. Rogers taking a stroll through the neighborhood of make-believe. (Twenty two years of providing customer service - believe me, it's justified!) My point is, if any of us had our private moments and conversations recorded and broadcast to the world, as has happened with Dog, would we fare very well or would we be raked over the coals? For the vast majority of us, it'd probably be time to prepare to be blasted.
Do our thoughts and language mean that we're all racists? Nah, it just means we're human. Way too human.
That doesn't excuse the language that Chapman used. He could have chosen his words much better. But does he deserve to lose everything he's worked thirty years for because of a moment of stupidity? Even if he is a racist (and I don't think skin color is the issue here - it's the person and his dislike for her - not for her skin tone), the good that Dog has done for his community is pretty excessive. He's done a lot to help his local community and the world at large. Should all of that be dismissed because of a moment of rage and a filthy mouth? That's something to think about.
Hell, I'm versatile (or so I've been told), so I'll just talk about both.
First, we'll go with Moolah. What needs to be said? She was tough as nails and a true legend and icon in a world where those words are used far too frequently. It's impossible to even think about the world of professional wrestling and women's wrestling in general without the name of Lillian Ellison, aka "The Fabulous Moolah" coming to mind.
And in a business where it was always "dog eat dog" and only the strong survive, she not only survived, but thrived and established a legacy that lasted for over fifty years. We often talk about the politics of professional wrestling and how such wrestlers as Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Jeff Jarrett, The Kliq, Triple H, etc.. have played the game to ensure their success, often at the expense of others. But compared to Moolah, all of these so-called masters of the game were just novices at best. She was truly the best there was at what she did and no one else could even come close.
She wasn't a great wrestler, but she was a great character who the fans loved to hate, and love her or hate her, you have to give her kudos and respect for what she accomplished during her long career.
When I think of Moolah, two stories come to mind.
One is the so-called "screwjob" involving Wendi Richter and the WWE Women's Championship. Richter was supposed to defend the title against the Spider Woman. Richter was the Champion, but her contract had expired and she was not exactly thrilled with the new contract that Vince McMahon and the WWF were offering her. She wanted to have her lawyers look it over first and wouldn't allow herself to be pressured into rushing into the new deal with the WWF. Vince didn't like her reluctance to "trust him" and decided to take the title off of her. Enter Moolah, who wore a mask and pulled a shoot on the Champ. One ridiculously fast count later, Richter was the ex-champ and Moolah was back on top. Like it or not, she able to take a situation and use it to her advantage and regain that top spot. That's savy and smarts... and Moolah was certainly never lacking in either of those.
And then the other story is one that Ole Anderson relates in his book, "Inside Out - How The Corporate World Destroyed Professional Wrestling". (That title might not be 100% correct - I loaned the book out to a friend and this is from memory - but it's pretty close anyhow.)
Ole was the booker for Georgia Championship Wrestling at the time. He wanted to bring in Moolah and some of her ladies for a series of matches. Ole was a no nonsense type of wrestler and handled his booking the same way. It was his way or the highway - simple as that. Until he met Moolah. Ole talks about how he told Moolah before her match that he wanted a clean match - no nonsense. That meant no foreign objects, no clowning around, etc. He just wanted the ladies to go out there and wrestle. Moolah, of course, agreed to have a straight up match with none of her usual shenanigans.
Until she got into the ring. Once that bell rang, it was a typical Moolah match, complete with stalling, foreign objects, and all of the antics that Ole had told Moolah beforehand that he didn't want to see. After the match, Ole talks about how he confronted Moolah and began to lay into her about her antics. And this "Southern Belle" didn't bat an eye and tore into him with a cussing that would make any sailor proud. Ole went on to comment how anyone else would have been fired on the spot, but this was Moolah. What else could you do? She controlled the majority of the ladies working and if you wanted to use women wrestlers, you had to deal with her. She knew the power she had and didn't back down an inch.
That's the gist of the story anyhow and it just proves how tough Moolah really was. If she was your friend, you had a friend to the end who would be there for you. But when it came to politics and business and especially the politics and business of professional wrestling, she had few peers.
And even during the past few years, even though she was often used as a comedy act by the WWE during her cameos and appearances, she was still every inch the professional with a legacy and presence second to none.
Rest in Peace, Lillian Ellison, aka "The Fabulous Moolah"... You will be missed.
And then we move on to Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman.
You already know the story. Here is a transcript of the audio tape obtained by the National Enquirer of Dog the Bounty Hunter ordering his son Tucker to break up with his girlfriend who is black. Dog, who has 13 children total by 4 wives and other assorted baby mamas, doesn't feature Tucker in his popular show. Tucker was recently released from prison where he was serving 20 years on drug charges.
Duane "Dog" Chapman: I don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore or whatever. It's not because she's black, it's because we use the word ni**er sometimes here. I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some fucking ni**er heard us say ni**er and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over! I'm not taking that chance at all! Never in life! Never! Never! If Lyssa [Dog's daughter] was dating a ni**er, we would all say 'fuck you!' And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ya da da... it's not that they're black, it's none of that. It's that we use the word ni**er. We don't mean you fucking scum ni**er without a soul. We don't mean that shit. But America would think we mean that. And we're not taking a chance on losing everything we got over a racial slur because our son goes with a girl like that. I can't do that Tucker. You can't expect Gary, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids to [garbled] because 'I'm in love for 7 months' - fuck that! So, I'll help you get another job but you can not work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I can't handle that shit. I got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I got that girl saying she's gonna wear a recorder...Tucker Chapman: I don't even know what to say.
It sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? These words, used in a private phone conversation by the way, ended up costing Duane Chapman his reputation and his show, as A&E has pulled the plug and cancelled their hit show, "Dog the Bounty Hunter".
But I've read the statements over and over and I don't think that Chapman is racist. I've watched his show on occasion and far from being racist, he comes across as one of the more realistic folks on reality tv, if there is truly such a thing. I think he's got some redneck in him and if you want to stick a label in there, "white trash" might apply. But not racist. Not particularly smart in his choice of words either for that matter.
But I look at what he's saying. And I think to some of the language that I admittingly use at times. Very few people I know can honestly say that, when in their circle of friends or family, they haven't used a racial slur at one time or another. I cuss like a sailor - it's true. And although my words of choice are general assclown, dumb-ass, stupid-ass, or some other "ass" term, I have been caught up in the heat of the moment before and used the dreaded "N" word. But I don't consider it a racial thing - I used to refer to a lowlife, skummy person who I don't feel, at the moment, is worth the air it takes to keep him or her alive. It doesn't matter to me if they're black, white, indian, Mexican, or any other race... to me, a "ni**er" is a person who thinks the world owes them everyhing and has no respect for themselves or others and is a walking poster child in support of abortion - it's the lowest step on the ladder of life. It's not a race thing - it's a way of life.
Chapman, to me, seems to come across as the same way. He uses the "n-word" and shouldn't - that's true. But it's not about race. He says that himself. He doesn't like his son's girlfriend and wants him to dump her. Chapman was emotional and caught up in the heat of the moment as he argued with his son, and although he could have picked his words better, it's not about race. It's about what he feels that the girlfriend could (and evidently did) end up costing him and his family.
I have two observations here.
First off, it seems that Champan was right to be wary of his son and his girlfriend. He had what he thought was a private conversation on the phone with his son, and what happens? His son records the conversation, sells it to the National Enquirer for (reportedly) $15,000 - and just what Dog feared most actually happens - the career is over and the show is finished.
And secondly, I've heard so many people jump all over this and criticize Dog for his language.. in what he thought was a private phone conversation with his son. That doesn't excuse what he said, but what's the old saying about let he who is without sin cast the first stone... Everyone has, in private moments, in fits of anger, in jokes with their friends, etc. said things that they shouldn't. It might be the n-word, it might be talking about someone's fat ass, it might be the racial joke or gay joke, etc. We've all done it. I know I have. My language, at times, would make Dog's rant look like Mr. Rogers taking a stroll through the neighborhood of make-believe. (Twenty two years of providing customer service - believe me, it's justified!) My point is, if any of us had our private moments and conversations recorded and broadcast to the world, as has happened with Dog, would we fare very well or would we be raked over the coals? For the vast majority of us, it'd probably be time to prepare to be blasted.
Do our thoughts and language mean that we're all racists? Nah, it just means we're human. Way too human.
That doesn't excuse the language that Chapman used. He could have chosen his words much better. But does he deserve to lose everything he's worked thirty years for because of a moment of stupidity? Even if he is a racist (and I don't think skin color is the issue here - it's the person and his dislike for her - not for her skin tone), the good that Dog has done for his community is pretty excessive. He's done a lot to help his local community and the world at large. Should all of that be dismissed because of a moment of rage and a filthy mouth? That's something to think about.
WWE RAW - My Views!
Well, I decided to watch RAW on Monday night and just for giggles, I decided to take notes as the show progressed. Maybe I'll do one of my infamous RAW Recaps? Not too likely, but it's possible. It's also possible that Steve O will one day win an Academy Award for his great acting skills (no one can really be that big of a moron), but I don't see that happening anytime soon either.
RAW is coming live from the land of fake boobs, plastic surgery and sexy young cubs. Whassup Jokes!
No, it's not Detroit.
DX is here. Is it 1997 again or is it 2006? Where are the Spirit Squad! Gimme an S. Gimme a U. Gimme a C. Gimme a K. Gimme an S. What's that spell? How I think this will turn out. Not that I don't like nostalgia, but I was sick of the DX thing when it was over-done a year ago. I'm not ready for it again just yet.
It'd be cool to see Chyna come out and join DX again for one night. They are in L.A. and she lives in the area (when she's not in Rehab, on VH1, or banging Sean Waltman).
Hornswaggle McMahon is here and he wants to be part of DX. He's already got the green on. This might be funny.
Short-arm scissors to HBK. Code Red! Code Red! (Anyone get that reference?) HHH with lots of inside jokes. He even has the "run sheet". Is this RAW or SNL?
Horny is an honorary member for the night. HHH wants him to leave, but he won't because of monsters. HBK goes to check it out.
Holy Mouth Full of Worms, Batman! It's the Boogeyman and he's coming to suck it! This has gotten weird!
More chaos and shots at the creative teams / Hollyweird. Khali comes out too and he's just big.
He's part of the group too.
Here comes Coach. He's ending the nonsense. HHH lies to Khali about what Coach allegedly did / didn't say. Shawn agrees and Shawn can't lie. I wonder if Bret Hart would agree with that?
Why doesn't Horny just use his McMahon status to tell Coach to suck it?
Khali kung-fu chops Coach who no-sells as he flees from the ring.
Khali chases Coach. Boogeyman and Horny vanish. And DX tell the world to suck it.
It was a funny segment, but it was just way too long.
Tom Green and Luke Perry are in the audience. Tom Green used to be funny. What happened?
Beth Phoenix is facing Kelly Kelly in a match. It's going to be a squash!
Yep! Quick and painless (unless you're Kelly Kelly). I like the way they're building up Beth.
I can't wait until she ends up facing off against Victoria.
Power and skill versus power and skill. Beth's a bitch. Victoria is crazy! I'm calling it now. That's the Diva's match for Wrestlemania.
And my money is on the crazy one!
Victoria rocks!
Santino is here. He says Austin isn't going to show up. Of course, that means Santino is going to get squashed like a bug. Or like Kelly was. Whichever is more painful and fun for the fans to watch.
Santino is comedy gold. He's possibly the next William Regal. It must be the accent.
A commercial airs for Clive Barker's "Jericho". Is the WWE trying to tell us something?
Carlito is here to face a kid named Joey. Carlito doesn't think it's cool. So he has Snitsky come in to destroy the kid.
Snitsky is one ugly mo-fo. I liked him better before when it wasn't his fault.
Snitsky kills Joey! Quickly!
It was his fault!
Carlito comes in to steal part of Snitsky's spotlight.
Snitsky destroys Carlito.
That wasn't cool!
An awesome video highlighting Jeff Hardy is aired.
This is a great way to really make Jeff look like a major star and the WWE deserves kudos for this.
Jeff still looks like he needs a good shower though.
We see Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy in the back going over moves. Or else trying to swat flies. It's hard to tell.
Tag team action as Rey & Jeff take on Finlay and Mr. Kennedy.
Kennedy and Finlay look way too similar and alike.
I wonder if Finlay ever went to Green Bay when he was a youngster?
Good match. I'd love to see Jeff Hardy and Finlay against each other more often.
Did Jim Ross really refer to Rey & Jeff as the WWE Air Force?
Kennedy takes the pin. How the mighty have fallen. I remember when he was supposed to be the next big star.
I guess he's been hanging around with Shelton & Carlito too much. Oops!
Maria tells Santino that Stone Cold is here. He poo-poo's her comments and they're headed for the ring.
Wrestlemania tickets went on sale in Orlando and Jimmy Hart is brought out of mothballs to promote the sale. One man actually says he's going to sleep with his Wrestlemania tickets. Damn, what a perv.
Santino and Maria go the ring. Even I have to admit that Maria is hot, but cut back on the make-up a bit, OK? Santino trash talks The Condemned and jaws a bit with the director of the movie, who's conveniently at ringside in the audience.
Glass breaks - fans cheer and Santino reacts by not reacting - he's great!
Austin and Santino jaw back and forth about the mis-quotes, the movie, etc. It's all good and Santino is hilarious. Austin? Well, he's Stone Cold and that's always good enough for me.
Austin gives Santino a copy of the Condemned DVD and Santino doesn't slam it down - he gently lays it down and grinds it with his foot oh so gingerly. Funny!
Austin repeatedly tries to extend the olive branch, but Santino is the total ass-clown. Finally. Steve offers him a beer. But Santino only drinks wine. Guess what's next?
STUNNER! STUNNER! STUNNER! Jim Ross practically has an orgasm at ringside.
Santino sells better than Citibank Stockholders after receiving the stunner. Austin says he looks thirsty and heads to the back after placing the DVD in Santino's mouth.
Austin comes back and guess what - it's 1997 again and he has the Budweiser Truck with him.
Austin gets a hose from the truck and it's beer bath time for Santino.
And for the first few rows of fans as Austin goofs up at first and sprays the crowd. Can you imagine one of the audience members getting pulled over on the way home. "No officer, I wasn't drinking! Stone Cold sprayed me with his hose!".... I think someone would be going to jail.
Maria decides to check on Santino while Austin drinks beer. Steve spies her in the ring (how could he miss her in that dress? She looked hot!) Austin gets his hose again and teases spraying the dim-witted announcer. She gets a beer bath. And Santino gets sprayed again. The crowd loves it! The fans at home love it. Bonnie Hammer loves it. The ring crew is ready to cry. They have to clean this mess up.
Austin stands on top of the beer truck and drinks beer. I guess that's more appropiate than standing on top of the beer truck and drinking orange juice.
For the 3rd time in about an hour, we see a commercial for Clive Barker's "Jericho". I definitely think the WWE is trying to tell us something.
The "Save Us" video airs. The code is the answer.
We see Vince and Horny in the back. So that's where he went after the DX segment. Vince explains to Horny about tough love and that since Horny seems to feel that size doesn't matter, he can prove it. At Survivor Series, it's Hornswaggle versus The Great Khali.
That is going to be very, very bad or very very good. My money is on the bad. But like train wrecks and Steve O's show, I'm strangely getting the urge to watch. My money is on the freak.
Four matches announced so far for the Survivor Series - it's HBK versus Orton for the WWE Championship. Taker takes on Batista in a Hell In The Cell for the World Championship. Horny takes on Khali. That'll be fun. And in a traditional Survivor Series match, it's HHH's team of himself, the Hardys, Rey Mysterio and Kane taking on Umaga's savage team of himself, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, MVP and Big Daddy V. That might be fun. So far, the show is looking pretty interesting.
We see HHH and HBK in clown mode as they stall for time while the ring crew cleans up Steve Austin's beer bath mess. HBK plays the un-cool guy as he brings out Big Dick Johnson to dance. HHH is repulsed, as are 98% of the viewers at home. HHH just happens to have two of the Playboy magazine "Girl's Next Door" available. They come out and dance with Hunter as HBK exits the screen.
I'm sure that Stephanie was right off screen as well and watching the situation very closely.
Jerry Lawler has an orgasm at ringside. He actually knows the girls names. Why am I not surprised?
The DVD for "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" comes out on Tuesday. I should be offended, but it's Adam Sandler and he's always funny, so I'll probably end up getting it.
Mickie James puts the make on Trevor Murdoch. OK, she just says hi and wishes him luck, but in the WWE, it's the same thing.
Lance Cade tells Trevor to stay focused. He seems to be jealous of Mickie and her charms.
In a borning match, Cody Rhodes beat Trevor Murdoch.
Lance Cade and Hardcore Holly were both at ringside too.
It didn't matter.
The match was just blah! Which is surprising because Trevor can usually turn it on and produce.
We see a great video tribute to the Fabulous Moolah which rightfully receives an ovation from the fans. No one does video like the WWE and they should be commended for a great tribute to one of the true legends of professional wrestling.
One of the ZZ Top guys and Jamie Kennedy are in the audience. Is Jamie Kennedy any relation to Mr. Kennedy? A cousin, perhaps?
After a commercial break, we come back and Super Crazy & Hacksaw Duggan are trying to fire up the crowd with a chant of "Ho - Si". It doens't work.
The crowd is dead at the moment.
It's Haas & Benjamin as the opponents and they don't even get an introduction for this match. So much for being the "World's Greatest Tag Team".
Haas & Shelton take turns slamming Super Crazy as Hacksaw Duggan tries to get a "USA" chant going.
Hey Hacksaw, Shelton and Haas are from the USA - your partner is from Mexico. Wouldn't a "USA" chant kind of defeat the purpose?
Doesn't matter anyhow as the crowd just doesn't care.
Crazy pins Haas - or was it Shelton? All of the wasted mid-card talents look alike to me.
Meaningless match that did absolutely nothing for anyone involved.
The WWE Rewind airs and it's brought to us by Clive Barker's "Jericho". Enough! We get the message already.
DX (HHH & HBK) fought Umaga and Randy Orton in the main event. By this point, I'm just too exhausted to take notes and could care less. The match was just the same-old, same-old with these four men. Nothing special.
DX won.
And that's the end.
A good show to start, but it was just exhausting by the end. And it was hard to stay focused as the show went from good to bad to who cares from segement to segment. It was more hit than miss, but I just couldn't get into it.
Enough of the Jericho hints already. The latest rumors are he'll be back after the Survivor Series. That'll be cool. The sooner, the better.
And bring back Flair!
Woooooooooooooooooooo!
'Nuff said!
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